he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
