Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
