i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ambien. No doubt about it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize