Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
