Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
