Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
