My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
