Pants 0. Shit 1.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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