this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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