is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
