we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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