just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingđ
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing âHappy Birthdayâ to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, âWhy didnât you sing along?!?â I responded, âI donât know him. I donât give a shit if he has a happy birthday.â
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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