The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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