The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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