So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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