I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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