Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
