btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
