No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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