I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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