Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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