my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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