So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
