Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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