Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
