after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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