I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The air taste purple.
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