If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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