i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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