I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
