I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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