highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
