he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
