I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
