Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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