Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
