You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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