What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So squirting runs in the family.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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