Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
