Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
