Whod you bang
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
