If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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