are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
