so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
