Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
