I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
