I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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