I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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