watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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