wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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