Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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